While I am generally a big fan of Marshall Mather's work, I am not sure what to make of his latest music video or, quite frankly, whether I even like the song. It's not up to his usual standards, particularly as a first single. The video, however, has its moments - taking weight shots as Jessica Simpson and mocking Tony Romo in the process, taking bald shots at Brett Michaels, taking sexual shots at Sarah Palin, ripping Kim Kardashian's "man hands," and taking a lot of time with a bizarre Star Trek theme. Judge it for yourself.Thursday, April 9, 2009
The Latest and Certainly Strangest from Eminen
While I am generally a big fan of Marshall Mather's work, I am not sure what to make of his latest music video or, quite frankly, whether I even like the song. It's not up to his usual standards, particularly as a first single. The video, however, has its moments - taking weight shots as Jessica Simpson and mocking Tony Romo in the process, taking bald shots at Brett Michaels, taking sexual shots at Sarah Palin, ripping Kim Kardashian's "man hands," and taking a lot of time with a bizarre Star Trek theme. Judge it for yourself.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
American Idol (April 7, 2009) Recap - Celebrity Look Alikes
Well, here goes another week of Idol, sans Megan, oh Joy! Tonight's theme - celebrity look alikes. Everybody is born with innate talents and one of mine is casting celebrities to play real people in the movie version of things.
8. Scott McIntyre - Art Garfunkel, circa 1968. I thought long and hard about Josh Groban, but in the end had to stick with Art. This dude has the knack of making every song sound like high school theater. Awful again. And what's with that guitar? While I hate his singing, at least I could count on some decent piano... Have a nice life. (BTW. Did you see his parents' pad? They must have major coin).
6. Kris Allen - Brandon Walsh (aka Jason Priestley). His favorite cellist must be Yo-Yo Ma because he yo-yo'ed back down tonight with his weird version of a danceable song that was, well, undanceable. And what's with his now prop guitar? If you are not going to play the thing, then don't wear it.
4. Danny Gokey - French Stewart. I have come to a conclusion about old Danny. He's a bit of a dork. He is Soul Patrol without any real soul (just the like the (un)original Taylor what's his name). As usual, Danny's performance was serviceable. And it was a tale of three songs. The first was slightly off key and bad. The second was a decent ballad of sorts. And the third was typical Michael McDonald-esque belting. Good not great.
8. Scott McIntyre - Art Garfunkel, circa 1968. I thought long and hard about Josh Groban, but in the end had to stick with Art. This dude has the knack of making every song sound like high school theater. Awful again. And what's with that guitar? While I hate his singing, at least I could count on some decent piano... Have a nice life. (BTW. Did you see his parents' pad? They must have major coin).
7. Lil Rounds - Tootie (aka Kim Fields): I agreed with Simon a bit here. She is a bit lost. I never liked her, but I thought she was better than this. She sounds less and less good each week and now sounds like she'd be a good front person for a wedding band. Not good at all. Nope. Not good at all.
6. Kris Allen - Brandon Walsh (aka Jason Priestley). His favorite cellist must be Yo-Yo Ma because he yo-yo'ed back down tonight with his weird version of a danceable song that was, well, undanceable. And what's with his now prop guitar? If you are not going to play the thing, then don't wear it.
5. Anoop - Ray Romano (Indian version). Solid in parts. Dull in others. Terrible dresser as usual. And Simon stole my yo-yo line. Yawn...
4. Danny Gokey - French Stewart. I have come to a conclusion about old Danny. He's a bit of a dork. He is Soul Patrol without any real soul (just the like the (un)original Taylor what's his name). As usual, Danny's performance was serviceable. And it was a tale of three songs. The first was slightly off key and bad. The second was a decent ballad of sorts. And the third was typical Michael McDonald-esque belting. Good not great.
3. Matt Giraud - Justin Timberlake (super light). Not great. Pretty good at times. WAY overrated by the judges, but can you blame them, especially when compared to the ones that came before him.
2. Allison Iraheta - Kelly Clarkson. I really, really wanted to cast Miss Piggy, but I don't want to be mean, so I'll cast Kelly Clarkson from her Idol days. I kept waiting for the power that never came, but this was a great overall performance.
1. Adam Lambert. And finally... wow. Maybe the best performance of the best contestant of this, and maybe any season on Idol. I mean, who is better, more original, more versatile, and has more star power than Adam Lambert? Nobody. I am completely converted. I have been completely won over by this guy's massive talent. Incredible. And who would play him in the movie? At first I thought Tim Curry circa Rocky Horror. And then I thought that little horror, Joe Jonas. And then it hit me like a bolt. Stay with me folks. Ready, because I am dead on here. Warren Beatty circa Bonnie and Clyde.
American Idol April 7, 2009 Birth Year Night
I have no juice for this episode. Adam has removed the drama and tonight was the same.
Danny Gokey. Stand By Me. I paused the Tivo to make this note. This is a bad song choice. It's been sung too many times and unless he's really done some out-there arrangement, this can be no better than OK. Unpause. This is the worst by him in several weeks--totally mailed it in. Slow, dull smooth jazz. He closed strong but I note that he disregarded the judges good advice to move around. Moving around takes the focus off of his dorky looks.
Did you know Stephen King wrote the story that the movie Stand By Me is based on? God, I love that movie. And most of the reason is the scene that precedes this one, also in the junk yard (stupid Youtube doesn't have the great moment when they talk about the "A" and "E" starting to bend around the edges of Annette's sweater on the Mickey Mouse Club).
Kris Allen. He told a nice anecdote about how someone told him to say hi to Adam. That made me like Kris just a little more than I don't; even he knows it's over. All She Wants To Do Is Dance. Idol has a new locale that some people get to sing in: "The pit"...surrounded by teen girls. He's got a too-cool-for-school-jazz vibe that is unbearable. I despise the arrangement. I listened twice and guarantee that the guitar was not plugged in.
(That is unwatchable.)
Lil Rounds. What’s Love Got To Do With It. It's about the best she’s looked, which is not great. Her shoes are so high that she can’t move comfortably.
Her vocals are OK but not great. I feel sorry for her now. At one point, she was a front-runner. Now she's solidly middle of the pack. Uh oh…when Paula pans you, it’s trouble. Judges hacked it up.
Anoop Desai. True Colors. Go Heels. It's a beautiful song, beautifully done. His lime-striped sweater is G. A. Y. Kara offers sage advice, "To win, you have to control the song, don’t let it control you." Every time she talks, I want to do that--->.
Scott McIntyre. Speaking of pounding heads into walls. The Search Is Over. Scott, Scott, Scott. If you're going to pick a Survivor song, there's only one to choose:
(If that song is on in my head, I start strutting like Travolta. Ah fuck, that calls for another video aside. This is the best video aside ever. All this is way better than Scott's review.
).<--
His kid photo is him dressed as a vampire. (The Staying Alive music is still playing as I write this. SO AWESOME!) I have to apologize for this in advance Scott. I hoped you would not last so long that I finally had to do this but here goes. Dude, the vampire costume was perfect because you, my blind friend, have some bad chiclets. Run home, get a file, and shave those things down. Your super-handsome brother is not looking out for you man. You're Danny DeVito to his Arnold. A dentist could get rich off you. Scott's guitar "playing" was awful. He went to the Kris Allen school of guitar where moving around the E form barre chord counts as guitar-playing. Only it doesn't, especially when it fucking blows. His guitar-playing is better than his vocals, which made even my too-kind wife cringe. Good thing this show has Simon, who is the only judge not on eggshells, "It was horrible." No doubt one of the most painful Idol performances ever.
Allison Iraheta. I Can’t Make You Love Me. ("I'm going nowhere, somebody help me yeaaaahh....") Another Tivo pause. I'm a bit worried because she's already got a Bonnie Raitt-like voice and the perfect way to sing this song--for Allison--is just to copy it, which sometimes is dull. Unpause. She should have picked something more rocking but she still does a good copycat. Allison’s always got me. The judges once again spend the entire time criticizing her for something unrelated to her vocals. ("You need to let America get to know you." Fuck off.) But the judges know she's good. Come on America. Keep her in it.
Matt Giraud. Part-time Lover. (Staying Alive music just ended. Fuckall.) He's back with the awful hat. Despite his New Kids look (I refuse to put that video up), his vocals won me over by the end of the song. Judges love it.
Adam Lambert. It's striking that his parents look so normal. I have no idea what this song is. (Mad World.) The first thing I notice is how he's lit differently every week. I have to guess that this is part of his mastery of the stage. Most others just come out and sing their song with little variation--he's in some funky blue glow, which goes along with the unpainted Blue Man sitting unmoving in the audience tonight. The show is completely rushed for time and he still pulls off a slow ballad masterstroke. The competition for second goes on. Adam wins the night again.
Top. Adam.
Top of the rest: Allison, Matt.
Bottom. Most of the field was OK. Except Scott. He fucking blows.
I am off my game this week. You deserve better my 3 readers. Even Jordan had an off night every once in a while.
Danny Gokey. Stand By Me. I paused the Tivo to make this note. This is a bad song choice. It's been sung too many times and unless he's really done some out-there arrangement, this can be no better than OK. Unpause. This is the worst by him in several weeks--totally mailed it in. Slow, dull smooth jazz. He closed strong but I note that he disregarded the judges good advice to move around. Moving around takes the focus off of his dorky looks.
Did you know Stephen King wrote the story that the movie Stand By Me is based on? God, I love that movie. And most of the reason is the scene that precedes this one, also in the junk yard (stupid Youtube doesn't have the great moment when they talk about the "A" and "E" starting to bend around the edges of Annette's sweater on the Mickey Mouse Club).
Kris Allen. He told a nice anecdote about how someone told him to say hi to Adam. That made me like Kris just a little more than I don't; even he knows it's over. All She Wants To Do Is Dance. Idol has a new locale that some people get to sing in: "The pit"...surrounded by teen girls. He's got a too-cool-for-school-jazz vibe that is unbearable. I despise the arrangement. I listened twice and guarantee that the guitar was not plugged in.
(That is unwatchable.)
Lil Rounds. What’s Love Got To Do With It. It's about the best she’s looked, which is not great. Her shoes are so high that she can’t move comfortably.
Her vocals are OK but not great. I feel sorry for her now. At one point, she was a front-runner. Now she's solidly middle of the pack. Uh oh…when Paula pans you, it’s trouble. Judges hacked it up.
Anoop Desai. True Colors. Go Heels. It's a beautiful song, beautifully done. His lime-striped sweater is G. A. Y. Kara offers sage advice, "To win, you have to control the song, don’t let it control you." Every time she talks, I want to do that--->.Scott McIntyre. Speaking of pounding heads into walls. The Search Is Over. Scott, Scott, Scott. If you're going to pick a Survivor song, there's only one to choose:
(If that song is on in my head, I start strutting like Travolta. Ah fuck, that calls for another video aside. This is the best video aside ever. All this is way better than Scott's review.
).<--
His kid photo is him dressed as a vampire. (The Staying Alive music is still playing as I write this. SO AWESOME!) I have to apologize for this in advance Scott. I hoped you would not last so long that I finally had to do this but here goes. Dude, the vampire costume was perfect because you, my blind friend, have some bad chiclets. Run home, get a file, and shave those things down. Your super-handsome brother is not looking out for you man. You're Danny DeVito to his Arnold. A dentist could get rich off you. Scott's guitar "playing" was awful. He went to the Kris Allen school of guitar where moving around the E form barre chord counts as guitar-playing. Only it doesn't, especially when it fucking blows. His guitar-playing is better than his vocals, which made even my too-kind wife cringe. Good thing this show has Simon, who is the only judge not on eggshells, "It was horrible." No doubt one of the most painful Idol performances ever.
Allison Iraheta. I Can’t Make You Love Me. ("I'm going nowhere, somebody help me yeaaaahh....") Another Tivo pause. I'm a bit worried because she's already got a Bonnie Raitt-like voice and the perfect way to sing this song--for Allison--is just to copy it, which sometimes is dull. Unpause. She should have picked something more rocking but she still does a good copycat. Allison’s always got me. The judges once again spend the entire time criticizing her for something unrelated to her vocals. ("You need to let America get to know you." Fuck off.) But the judges know she's good. Come on America. Keep her in it.
Matt Giraud. Part-time Lover. (Staying Alive music just ended. Fuckall.) He's back with the awful hat. Despite his New Kids look (I refuse to put that video up), his vocals won me over by the end of the song. Judges love it.
Adam Lambert. It's striking that his parents look so normal. I have no idea what this song is. (Mad World.) The first thing I notice is how he's lit differently every week. I have to guess that this is part of his mastery of the stage. Most others just come out and sing their song with little variation--he's in some funky blue glow, which goes along with the unpainted Blue Man sitting unmoving in the audience tonight. The show is completely rushed for time and he still pulls off a slow ballad masterstroke. The competition for second goes on. Adam wins the night again.Top. Adam.
Top of the rest: Allison, Matt.
Bottom. Most of the field was OK. Except Scott. He fucking blows.
I am off my game this week. You deserve better my 3 readers. Even Jordan had an off night every once in a while.
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