Ladies and Gentlemen, THIS IS Adam Lambert:
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
American Idol March 17, 2009
Michael Oilman. The words I could understand were beer, truck, shotgun, doublewide, and Klan. Some country-rap version of We Didn’t Start The Fire.
Despite its incomprehensibility, I loved it. His “I don’t give a fuck what you think" attitude to the judge's criticisms saves him from my bottom 3. Judges were complete jerkoffs. His vocals were not on display but the fun factor outweighed any shortcomings.
Allison Iraheta. Looks the best she’s looked yet…which is not actually that much of a compliment. Everyone keeps saying it: it’s amazing that she’s 16 with those Janis Joplin pipes (and looks...ugh).
She’s my personal favorite even though she lacks Rounds's and Gokey’s voice. Long live rock and roll. Please go win this thing, he says, knowing America won't ever let her.
Kris Allen. Ballad. Sucky McSuckenstein. The judges 4-wayed gobbled his knob, which is unreal. He was atrocious and he looks like he just got a swirly.
I hate him the most.
Lil Rounds. Independence Day. Audience clapping is SO FUCKING ANNOYING. Let’s see. It’s country night. She’s black. Formula for a lynchin'. But wait, what's this? She went with a flag-wrapped song. The show mixed her vocals poorly—she is hard to hear over the band. In the chorus, she hits it. It’s a tough night for her but she’s got one of the top 2 voices in the competition and should survive.
Adam Lambert. Ring of Fire. Funky. Hip. Spooky. He’s creepy but fuckall it was oddly fantastic. Agree with Randy 100%: a young dark adaptation. I know it’s not his version but its uniqueness reminds me of David Cook’s Billie Jean.
Scott McIntyre. Hey buddy, the sighted and the blind have an arrangement. We won’t give you singles instead of twenties and you guys wear sunglasses so we don't have to look at the skinless grapes that you call eyes. His voice continues to suck. Piano playing is great but whatever. It’s a singing competition and he has been one of the worst week after week.
Alexis Grace. Jolene. I love this song. Ryan compares her to Dolly in the intro, which is interesting…except that Dolly has a trademark that Alexis notably lacks. Dress looks distractingly like it may fall off. Anyways, I thought she did well. Judges panned her a bit unfairly.
Danny Gokey. Jesus Take the Wheel. I was distracted by the lyric. Fuck you dude (and Carrie Underwood). Save your fucking self asswipe: Jesus ain’t gonna take the wheel OK douchebags? His performance came alive at the chorus and whatever. He advances after an average night for him, which like Lil Rounds, is way better than almost everyone.
Anoop Desai. You were always on my mind. I’m a little shocked to find that Anoops is more than a Fraternity band singer. He’s got a nice voice. First time on display. His timing is a bit off but it’s pretty good. He’s not a top contestan but he might live to see another day with what is his first good performance since the semifinals started. Randy’s word of the night. Dope. Ahh. Keep tabs on Kara. She will NEVER swim upstream against anyone who expresses an opinion before her. She is a lemming.
Megan Corkery. How many well-known worn out songs can she sing? Rockin’ Robin last week. She’s pretty as a button but god does she move oddly…and I wonder what mental baggage she carries in that insane sleeve tat. Like Anoop, she had her best performance to date. Which is not to say it’s great, but middle of the pack. Judges give her flu points, which is bullshit. If that was allowed, they should give Lil Rounds and Anoop minority points for making it through country night.
Matt Girard. Another guy who had his best performance to date. I am a Matt-hater and I really liked it. Love the piano for him—thought it was enjoyable. Long-term greatness? No. But very good and he could move up in this competition after this night. I predict that the judges will love it. Prediction: Correct.
Top 3ish: Gokey, Girard, Iraheta/Lambert.
Bottom 2: MacIntyre, Allen
Despite its incomprehensibility, I loved it. His “I don’t give a fuck what you think" attitude to the judge's criticisms saves him from my bottom 3. Judges were complete jerkoffs. His vocals were not on display but the fun factor outweighed any shortcomings.
Allison Iraheta. Looks the best she’s looked yet…which is not actually that much of a compliment. Everyone keeps saying it: it’s amazing that she’s 16 with those Janis Joplin pipes (and looks...ugh).
She’s my personal favorite even though she lacks Rounds's and Gokey’s voice. Long live rock and roll. Please go win this thing, he says, knowing America won't ever let her.
Kris Allen. Ballad. Sucky McSuckenstein. The judges 4-wayed gobbled his knob, which is unreal. He was atrocious and he looks like he just got a swirly.
I hate him the most.
Lil Rounds. Independence Day. Audience clapping is SO FUCKING ANNOYING. Let’s see. It’s country night. She’s black. Formula for a lynchin'. But wait, what's this? She went with a flag-wrapped song. The show mixed her vocals poorly—she is hard to hear over the band. In the chorus, she hits it. It’s a tough night for her but she’s got one of the top 2 voices in the competition and should survive.
Adam Lambert. Ring of Fire. Funky. Hip. Spooky. He’s creepy but fuckall it was oddly fantastic. Agree with Randy 100%: a young dark adaptation. I know it’s not his version but its uniqueness reminds me of David Cook’s Billie Jean.
Scott McIntyre. Hey buddy, the sighted and the blind have an arrangement. We won’t give you singles instead of twenties and you guys wear sunglasses so we don't have to look at the skinless grapes that you call eyes. His voice continues to suck. Piano playing is great but whatever. It’s a singing competition and he has been one of the worst week after week.Alexis Grace. Jolene. I love this song. Ryan compares her to Dolly in the intro, which is interesting…except that Dolly has a trademark that Alexis notably lacks. Dress looks distractingly like it may fall off. Anyways, I thought she did well. Judges panned her a bit unfairly.Danny Gokey. Jesus Take the Wheel. I was distracted by the lyric. Fuck you dude (and Carrie Underwood). Save your fucking self asswipe: Jesus ain’t gonna take the wheel OK douchebags? His performance came alive at the chorus and whatever. He advances after an average night for him, which like Lil Rounds, is way better than almost everyone.
Anoop Desai. You were always on my mind. I’m a little shocked to find that Anoops is more than a Fraternity band singer. He’s got a nice voice. First time on display. His timing is a bit off but it’s pretty good. He’s not a top contestan but he might live to see another day with what is his first good performance since the semifinals started. Randy’s word of the night. Dope. Ahh. Keep tabs on Kara. She will NEVER swim upstream against anyone who expresses an opinion before her. She is a lemming.
Megan Corkery. How many well-known worn out songs can she sing? Rockin’ Robin last week. She’s pretty as a button but god does she move oddly…and I wonder what mental baggage she carries in that insane sleeve tat. Like Anoop, she had her best performance to date. Which is not to say it’s great, but middle of the pack. Judges give her flu points, which is bullshit. If that was allowed, they should give Lil Rounds and Anoop minority points for making it through country night.
Matt Girard. Another guy who had his best performance to date. I am a Matt-hater and I really liked it. Love the piano for him—thought it was enjoyable. Long-term greatness? No. But very good and he could move up in this competition after this night. I predict that the judges will love it. Prediction: Correct.
Top 3ish: Gokey, Girard, Iraheta/Lambert.
Bottom 2: MacIntyre, Allen
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