(So many Kasey clips to choose from; this one is more current.)
Anoop Desai. Some Usher song. The snare drum is so damn loud that he’s hard to hear throughout the song. Not sure if his vocals are low or he's not loud. We know he can dance but he picked some awful non-dance Usher song. Terrible song choice and for once, I agree with Kara. (Kill me now.) Give me a funnel and some sticky floors because that was a fraternity party performance. Pretty lame.
Megan Corkery. Or Joy? Maybe she’ll be like the Bills terrible cornerback JD Williams who changed his number mid-season, then later switched his name to James (I stick with analogies I know people). Will I forget shitty Megan Corkery and be amazed by Megan Joy? Umm, no. She sings some Bob Marley song. Her island affect in the middle of the song might be her most painful work yet. Even her appearance, which can sometimes be almost OK, wasn’t on this week. Could she please string together all the blingy chains and hang herself? America: please be rid of her.
Speaking of crazy people, could Paula look any more frightening?
Danny Gokey. What hurts the most. I love this song and predict he’ll WAY oversing it. It’s a better song sung without power—letting the words leak in. And here it goes. My first tip: In a slow ballad, DO NOT move about. He's a good dancer on stage and it pains him to be locked to the mic. This is apparent as his hands are up and down non-stop in Tin-Man like fashion.
Clothes, look, and overdone vocals CLASH with the song choice. He sang well but it was not what it should have been. Judges loved it. Randy said he should rock around on stage—terrible advice for that particular song. Wrong.
Here's what that song is supposed to sound like (with a Kelly Clarkson guest appearance.)
Allison Iraheta. Don’t Speak. Cyndi Lauper look in full effect—odd, but only if you don't appreciate Cyndi, which I do. She changed the song up…very slow at the beginning. The early chorus didn’t grab me but fuck she can sing and got me again. I love this girl. Judges spent way too long on look—teen girls will pan her tonight, overlooking her stellar vocals. She could be in trouble because the judges were so fucking dumb.
Scott McIntyre. Just the way you are. This is one of the most beautiful songs. Scott said he’s stripping it down? Since the original is just a piano and voice, could we be so lucky that he's stripping out the vocals? For fuck’s sake, what has he done with his hair? Between that and the collarless black leather jacket, someone’s been hassling the ‘Hoff. Also he’s unshaven and has a caterpillar ‘stache. Probably his best effort so far—vocal riffing and oversinging is anything but stripping down the song but it was almost OK, which for him is amazing.
Matt Giraud. You found me by the Fray. I hate the Fray so much. They suffer from "every song sounds the same" disease, or as DSM-IV calls it: Loverboy Syndrome.
(One of the worst Bandstand performances ever? Between the lip- and guitar-syncing, it would be hard to be "suck" more than Loverboy. (Wife thought the last sentence was a typo. It was not.))
He’s going to have to sing his nuts off to overcome my bias. Doesn’t do it. Performance was not great but not terrible. He tried to sing like a superstar with fawning teens all around him. He looked like a pedophile DJ (redundant). On a positive note (dog), he’s the 2nd best musician on the show after Scott. No one ever gives him props for the piano. Judges crammed it up his ass.
Lil Rounds. I Surrender by Celine Dion. It is a pretty good song choice for her—she can blow out a Celine song and she does it. Judges basically tell her to not sing white songs, which is obnoxious and borderline racist.
The dress is not flattering and it actually distractingly bad—showing off her junk in the trunk. That, fair readers, is obnoxious and borderline racist. (Though I like junk in the trunk so if anything, I’m an anti-racist.) Actually, the problem isn't the junk as much as there's material bunching in the junk so her trunk looks like it's bungie-closed around a protruding couch.
Her daughter giving Randy a big hug is really cute—she’ll make it through an unfair judge panning.
Adam Lambert. Play That Funky Music White Boy. Couldn’t be a bigger dance hit. At every wedding. Risky to pick kind of a cheesy classic. If he doesn’t win it all, it will be a C.R.I.M.E. That’s really all there is left at this point. The look is 70s and goes great with a rearranged version of the song. Even though it’s self-indulgent, he’s earned the right to be self-indulgent. That’s how talented he is. The rest of the field has been and continues to be playing for second. It’s not even close. He’s touched every kind of music and been the best of the night every time. Just like last week, I can’t wait to see him again next week. STAR.
Kris Allen. Ain’t no sunshine. I haven’t liked this Archuletta wannabe for a while but I liked this. It’s distracting that his feet barely reach the pedals. Is he shorter than Seacrest? He did well until the final falsetto, which was off. Some member of his support team is fucking frightening looking. Wish I could show the video.
Top: Lambert, (country mile), Allen, Iraheta/Gokey.
Bottom. Like Thunderdome, there can be only one: Megan.
P.S. Someone wrote a limerick about my lack of blogging Idol last week. A limerick? Egads. Well, I'm back and now expect a sonnet at least.
4 comments:
You are the Megan Corkery of blogging.
Anoop and Gokey can dance? LOL.
Lemon Jefferson totally sucked last night, man. He totally ruined a classic Billy Joel song. He was flat. He was sharp. He sucked.
Dead right on Rascal Flats' version of that song. Gokey's really starting lose me as a fan.
Nice Wiggers' post. They kill me.
And yes, Kris is shorter than Seacrest, who I am convinced is no taller than 5'4" and this is why. Jordin sparks looked about 8 inches taller than Seacrest when she was on the show. I stood right next to Jordin Sparks once at a hotel in Nashville and she was my height - 5'9" wearing sneakers. She must have worn 2 to 3" heels on Idol, putting Seacrest down around 5'4" This said, the best and most accurate celebrity height website, www.celebheights.com has old Ryan at 5'7" (and comically quotes Ryan saying he's 5'9")!
The Loverboy video is a laugh riot. The lead singer looks like a complete tool. But looking worse are the fools on bass and guitar pretending to rock out playing that utterly crappy music.
And they are all so awfully faking it too!
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