The Hoff: Jump in My Car

This guy, my doppelganger according to me, is an ess tee yu dee.

Classic Sound Bites - Part I

Thought I'd add two new feature to the blog - Classic Sound Bites and Star Trek Trivia. In this week's addition of Classic Sound Bites, playing on Mr. Adams' Star Trek theme, here's proof of Mr. Spock's and Captain Kirk's secret sexual relationship - boy must Lt. Sulu (George Takai) have been jealous.



As for Star Trek trivia, I'll start out ridiculously easy with the second easiest question (Mr. Adams shockingly missed the first): What does the "T" stand for in James T. Kirk. A pat on the back to the first correct answer.

Beam me up, Scotty. [sic?] (Arlo Guthrie style)

Did you know the NY Times crossword gets harder every day of the week? I'm a Tuesday guy. It's probably the SAT equivalent of 1000. Not in the Friday 1300 range, but not so retarded that I cant get a Monday 700. So today, I was bonerized when I wiped out the Wednesday puzzle in about 20 minutes. I was all, "Man, I am the shit. My brain is growing like a motherfucker. 1000mg more fish oil every day and I'll be able to debate whether we're going to blow up the world with that Collider thingy."

(I KNOW the world isn't ending. The world will end like this: The Bills will be in the Superbowl. Right as the game-winning time-expiring FG is sailing towards the middle of the uprights, that black hole thing will happen, sucking the ball away from the uprights. They say the black hole will be instant earth-destruction. I don't buy it. I'll have a good day of suffering over the "near SB win" before the black hole eats me. So be cool. The earliest the end of the world will happen is February. *I stole the end of the world thing from some Internet Chat board jerkoff.)

One clue bothered me (Remember the NY Times Crossword discussion I started 8 sentences ago?): "Command Kirk never gave." Of course, I immediately knew it was Captain James T. Kirk. Let the Friday 1300 SAT motherfuckers think about the Scottish word for Church. And the Monday failing 700 SAT morons recall Kirk Cameron.

(Speaking of morons, Kirk is a batshit crazy religious cuckoo bird.



I remember him, of course, from Growing Pains.



...Another DiCaprio cameo)

(People say I look like Kirk Cameron. And Wally Cleaver. And David Hasselhoff. Even Christopher Reeve. They are all mental.









) <--for proper grammar. To use one of my top 5 most hated words, "anywho," I thought, doing the NY Times Crossword puzzle on Wednesday the day I can't usually solve, what is it Kirk never says?

"I refuse to fuck alien chicks." True, my cocksman JT would never say that but it didn't fit.
"Spock, when you mind-melded me, did you see my secret man-lust for Sulu?" Nuh uh.

So what is it? What? I kicked ass on all the down clues and eventually saw the answer was "Beam me up, Scotty."

What. in. the. fuck?
Fuck. in. the. what!

That Rico Suave (

)

pimp

(



) never said it. There's even a Wiki entry on it.

You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant.

Joe Biden, open mouth, insert foot

Joe's lines are not getting as much coverage as Obama's "lipstick on a pig." This one is pretty good though.




Chuck is wheelchair-bound.

Tom Brady's knee; How's that for Karma bitch?

Remember last season, when the Patriots were up 42-7 against the Bills in the fourth quarter? And Brady threw on a 4th and 1, not just going for it in a meaningless game but rubbing in an obvious win?


Me too. Fuck you you stupid cunt.