Mr. Adams has added another voice - Dr. Johnson's.
As a fan of the show for much of its run, I can say definitively that with the ousting of Chris Daughtry and the win of no talent Soul Patrol - Idol jumped the shark. Unfortunately, Idol jumped the shark and landed on the deck of the Titanic, post-iceberg. As mediocre as last season was, this season is worse. While the mean (average) might have been a bit higher than in some seasons past, there is no one good enough or charismatic enough or just plain interesting enough to be crowned anything - much less an American Idol. Tonight's show cemented the deal.
I'll start with Gilbert Godfrey (with my apologies to the real GG who actually has some flair - albeit in a fake, over-the-top, Mr. Saturday Night sort of vibe). My dear Mr. Adams has nailed Archie-boy in blogs past. He has a decent voice, but zero presence and no star quality. I am not sure where the contender went after he sang Imagine, but the gone he is. Tonight's performances were vintage Archuletta. Nothing to write home about. Song 1 was his best. He's got some ability to riff melodically when he lets loose. He does have some power to his chops but whoever is managing him, needs to spend more time with his wife and other kids and leave this child alone. Song 2 was a train wreck. I couldn't even make out what he was trying to sing. Don't these people have favorite songs that they've nailed for years? Put me in Idol, dial up My Way or That's Life and look out. I'd need zero prep to perform better than G squared and I have nowhere near his voice. Song 3 wasn't bad - although a stoned Castro, i.e. the Castro from the first 4-5 weeks would have taken that one deep. As for the Judges - boy they stink worse than a closet full of Shaq's old gym shoes. Randy thought GG was the bomb. Hardly. Her stonedness didn't make any sense per usual. And neither did Cowell. He thought the Fogelberg song was gooey? GG didn't pick it - your bosses did. Does he even hear the things he says?
On to Bam Bam Michaels. Nice facial hair - not. And nice bowing with hands clinched. Who are you ... Nero? While he is definitely a bit creepy looking - this guy actually had some potential - until of course the producers and the sound mixers decided to sabotage the poor kid after he hit a grand slam with Billy Jean. Anyone else notice that his levels have been all out of whack since? You can hardly hear the guy's power over the music and the background singers. It's utterly inexplicable. Seriously. Are they out to get the guy? Does he stand out too much. Well, back to the show. Song 1 was utterly atrocious. I am apoplectic that Simon had the audacity to pick: a) an ancient song; b) meant for a woman; and c) that was totally wrong for the guy. Of course it stunk. The only think that stunk worse were Cowell's accolades for that horror. Strike that. What stunk worse was Cowell's criticism of Syesha for singing an old fashioned song after he saddled Cook with the song that he did. What a hypocrite. Song 2 was typical Cook. Dreadful mix. Weird arrangement. Sung pretty well, but not great. Song 3 was not much better. It was ruined by the string section that clashed with the electric guitars. And the performance did not stand up against the original at all. I am not sure what Simon was smoking - but for my money Cook finished tied for third tonight with the other two.
On to Black Barbie. She looked good. She moved better (particularly in Song 2). And she sounded the best of the group. While I thought her Alicia Keys was serviceable at best, I have no idea what the judges were watching in Song 2. Her Fever was the best performance of the night. It was the best female performance of the season. It was an inspired choice sung flawlessly. It was not old fashioned at all. It was just right. It was outstanding. Song three was - as Randy would say - just ok for me. But guess what folks, she didn't pick that crap, the producers did and did so - I contend - to screw Syesha out of the finals. Oh well, at least Brooke White is still gone. Yuck - she stunk for 8 straight weeks. I still feel serious jipped that she din't completely melt down when she was booted off an Island she shouldn't have been on in the first place. But I digress.
Which brings me to my mystery question of the night? Are the judges instructed who to promote? Do the producers think that David v. David will do better than GG v. BB? Do they think that BB will not be as marketable as GG or BBM? They must or they wouldn't have done everything in their power - even stoner-chick - to dis per Syesha. I think I might wear out my speed dial in support of BB.
As this latest and worst season of Idol winds down, I urge all of you to get on board the So You think You Can Dance train. That show is everything that this one isn't. Truly talented unknowns putting on world-class performances week in and week out. It's damn near miraculous how good that show is. As for Idol. I don't want any of these people to win. And I wanted none of the top 12 to win as none of them were good enough to win. Does anyone think that any of those 12 and the remaining 3 are good enough for the radio? Not me. GG is no Feinstein or Buble or Groban. BB is no Keys or Arie or Jones (notice I didn't say Whitney or Mariah?). And BBM is certainly no Daughtry. Is America completely out of singing talent? Or were all good acts already signed? For me, this Season of Idol is my last. Unfortunately, I think the show will outlast me.
A final note. Anyone catch that twitch next to the midget when he announced BBM's last song? He looked like someone who is too odd to be a whack-packer. Anyone else get the sense that he was mentally undressing the midget? Oooohhh (shuddering audibly). Speaking of midgets. Who wouldn't tune in to see Eric the Midget handling Seacrest's "job"? That would keep me coming back for years.
That it's for now, friends.
As always, dear readers,
I remain, your humble and obedient servant,
Samuel Johnson
As a fan of the show for much of its run, I can say definitively that with the ousting of Chris Daughtry and the win of no talent Soul Patrol - Idol jumped the shark. Unfortunately, Idol jumped the shark and landed on the deck of the Titanic, post-iceberg. As mediocre as last season was, this season is worse. While the mean (average) might have been a bit higher than in some seasons past, there is no one good enough or charismatic enough or just plain interesting enough to be crowned anything - much less an American Idol. Tonight's show cemented the deal.
I'll start with Gilbert Godfrey (with my apologies to the real GG who actually has some flair - albeit in a fake, over-the-top, Mr. Saturday Night sort of vibe). My dear Mr. Adams has nailed Archie-boy in blogs past. He has a decent voice, but zero presence and no star quality. I am not sure where the contender went after he sang Imagine, but the gone he is. Tonight's performances were vintage Archuletta. Nothing to write home about. Song 1 was his best. He's got some ability to riff melodically when he lets loose. He does have some power to his chops but whoever is managing him, needs to spend more time with his wife and other kids and leave this child alone. Song 2 was a train wreck. I couldn't even make out what he was trying to sing. Don't these people have favorite songs that they've nailed for years? Put me in Idol, dial up My Way or That's Life and look out. I'd need zero prep to perform better than G squared and I have nowhere near his voice. Song 3 wasn't bad - although a stoned Castro, i.e. the Castro from the first 4-5 weeks would have taken that one deep. As for the Judges - boy they stink worse than a closet full of Shaq's old gym shoes. Randy thought GG was the bomb. Hardly. Her stonedness didn't make any sense per usual. And neither did Cowell. He thought the Fogelberg song was gooey? GG didn't pick it - your bosses did. Does he even hear the things he says?
On to Bam Bam Michaels. Nice facial hair - not. And nice bowing with hands clinched. Who are you ... Nero? While he is definitely a bit creepy looking - this guy actually had some potential - until of course the producers and the sound mixers decided to sabotage the poor kid after he hit a grand slam with Billy Jean. Anyone else notice that his levels have been all out of whack since? You can hardly hear the guy's power over the music and the background singers. It's utterly inexplicable. Seriously. Are they out to get the guy? Does he stand out too much. Well, back to the show. Song 1 was utterly atrocious. I am apoplectic that Simon had the audacity to pick: a) an ancient song; b) meant for a woman; and c) that was totally wrong for the guy. Of course it stunk. The only think that stunk worse were Cowell's accolades for that horror. Strike that. What stunk worse was Cowell's criticism of Syesha for singing an old fashioned song after he saddled Cook with the song that he did. What a hypocrite. Song 2 was typical Cook. Dreadful mix. Weird arrangement. Sung pretty well, but not great. Song 3 was not much better. It was ruined by the string section that clashed with the electric guitars. And the performance did not stand up against the original at all. I am not sure what Simon was smoking - but for my money Cook finished tied for third tonight with the other two.
On to Black Barbie. She looked good. She moved better (particularly in Song 2). And she sounded the best of the group. While I thought her Alicia Keys was serviceable at best, I have no idea what the judges were watching in Song 2. Her Fever was the best performance of the night. It was the best female performance of the season. It was an inspired choice sung flawlessly. It was not old fashioned at all. It was just right. It was outstanding. Song three was - as Randy would say - just ok for me. But guess what folks, she didn't pick that crap, the producers did and did so - I contend - to screw Syesha out of the finals. Oh well, at least Brooke White is still gone. Yuck - she stunk for 8 straight weeks. I still feel serious jipped that she din't completely melt down when she was booted off an Island she shouldn't have been on in the first place. But I digress.
Which brings me to my mystery question of the night? Are the judges instructed who to promote? Do the producers think that David v. David will do better than GG v. BB? Do they think that BB will not be as marketable as GG or BBM? They must or they wouldn't have done everything in their power - even stoner-chick - to dis per Syesha. I think I might wear out my speed dial in support of BB.
As this latest and worst season of Idol winds down, I urge all of you to get on board the So You think You Can Dance train. That show is everything that this one isn't. Truly talented unknowns putting on world-class performances week in and week out. It's damn near miraculous how good that show is. As for Idol. I don't want any of these people to win. And I wanted none of the top 12 to win as none of them were good enough to win. Does anyone think that any of those 12 and the remaining 3 are good enough for the radio? Not me. GG is no Feinstein or Buble or Groban. BB is no Keys or Arie or Jones (notice I didn't say Whitney or Mariah?). And BBM is certainly no Daughtry. Is America completely out of singing talent? Or were all good acts already signed? For me, this Season of Idol is my last. Unfortunately, I think the show will outlast me.
A final note. Anyone catch that twitch next to the midget when he announced BBM's last song? He looked like someone who is too odd to be a whack-packer. Anyone else get the sense that he was mentally undressing the midget? Oooohhh (shuddering audibly). Speaking of midgets. Who wouldn't tune in to see Eric the Midget handling Seacrest's "job"? That would keep me coming back for years.
That it's for now, friends.
As always, dear readers,
I remain, your humble and obedient servant,
Samuel Johnson
1 comments:
Well done, John and Samuel. You two make a great team. I'm glad you are on board, Samuel. Maybe now next week you can write the finale synopsis solo so that John doesn't make me sit through it. Last night's show was a painful waste of time. -Abigail
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